The Ick 🤢

Hi friends,

What is an “ick”?

An ick is when you get a nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone you’re romantically interested in does something…icky. You might get the ick when someone smacks their lips while chewing or if their butt crack pops out when they get out of a car, or in the case of one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, you can get the ick after seeing your boyfriend open a pickle jar while naked.

Icks That Signal Red Flags

1. Hygiene icks: Being barefoot in the house, flat pillows and crusty, spitting. These icks tell me a guy doesn’t respect his surroundings or the comfort of others.

2. Adulting icks: Does he joke about not knowing how to cook? Can he tie a tie? (Trust me on this one, I’ve been through it!) Is he proud to not be resourceful? This guy is trapped in adolescence and he’s going to either drain you as you try to bring him into adulthood, or he’ll try to drag you down to his level.

3. Misogyny icks: Speaking of immaturity, if he refers to a future wife as his “ball and chain” or gaslights you with “ it’s just a joke” when he says something offensive, you might get the ick.

4. Performative icks: I’m a Black woman and an equal opportunity dater. Sometimes that means meeting men who are overly dramatic in their support for “the struggle.” This gives me the ick because it makes me feel like their performative allyship is an excuse to put me in a box and wrap me in a bow of stereotypes.

5. Idolization icks: Does he idolize powerful men, no matter how problematic they are? Does he defend Kanye West? ICK.

And there are many more! If your date does something that gives you a twinge in your stomach, it might not be butterflies….it could be the ick.

What gives you the ick?