Red Flags IRL
It's not just dating apps...
Hi friends,
I recently attended a wedding and I was so excited to be connected to the only other single man at the event. I thought, “What a cute set-up! We’ll tell our grandchildren about this.” Of course, I was thinking way too far in advance, but it was fun to fantasize. We hit it off and danced the night away. At the end of the night, I boldly asked for his number and set up a date for us. I went to bed beaming, proud of myself for taking action.
I texted him the next day to confirm and….silence. Nothing. Nada.
After analyzing the night, I probably should have prepared better for this outcome.
Red Flags for Meeting Someone IRL (In Real Life)
They're a little too drunk. Sure, the open bar is doing its thing and everyone’s having a grand time! But it’s maybe not the best time to make plans with a new friend.
They’re a little too flirty. Flirting is good, but once we shift into territory completely inhabited by body-only compliments, it’s time to slink back to your seat, the bar, or maybe step outside to re-evaluate your other options at the event.
They’re a little too perfect. They’re an excellent dancer, their toast is heartwarming, and they’re dressed to the nines. But once you start texting and making plans, their true personality comes out. You met Wedding Guest Bob. Now meet Everyday Bob. He’s much less impressive.
They’re a little too precise. This one might be specific to my experience, but I have to admit that sometimes dating apps provide us with a (thin) personality barrier. Because we’re chatting via text, some nuance can be lost or easily forgiven. In person, a potential match who corrects your grammar to your face or insists they teach you the “correct” way to dance is showing some potential for narcissism and not leaving room for you to be yourself.
They’re a little too aloof. This one can be tough. Yes, we’ve just met, but give me something! Back to the wedding example: If after dancing the night away and chatting about your unique shared interests until the lights are turned on, your potential new boo doesn’t bother to say goodbye or get your number, forget it. You’re not Cinderella and this isn’t a fairytale. Don’t bother scavenging the guest list for their contact info. Your Prince Charming owed you, at the very least, a goodbye.